when you’re caught up in a great moment.
for a little while you feel normal. happy almost.
then you get slapped back into reality.
“What the hell happened to your arm?”
fuck.
my world is crumbling.
and I can’t do anything about it.
I feel like a zombie, half dead, wandering around clueless.
Worst part is, nobody even knows.
And if they did..
would they care?
Lies are out of control in my head.
I don’t have what it takes to fight them back right now.
Life is so fucked up right now.
I’m sick of the constant ups and downs.
It’s been years.
And there’s this ache in my heart.
An ache I cannot explain to anyone.
It’s a feeling that makes me desperately want my heart to stop beating.
Everyone is distant from me.
I don’t blame them.
I think they are realizing how fucked up I am.
I’m really sorry.
Honestly, I gave it everything I had.
stay up all night at a bonfires.
wear more flowers in my hair.
spend all day at the beach.
go on camping trips.
eat too much ice cream.
take hundreds of pictures.
laugh until I cry.
show God’s love.
go on a roadtrip.
have picnics.
go on canoe explorations.
adventure at random.
be in a wedding.
make peoples coffee.
dance with a boy for the first time.
have a grad party.
be as tan as I can be.
love people as much as I can.
hug all the time.
buy a car.
go see people I love more often.
— Impulse - Ellen Hopkins
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us. ❞
— St. Theresa
It’s crazy.
That feeling.
When you’re weak and you’re feeling alone.
You want to talk to your friends, but you know that they are happy and living life..like you should be. So you don’t text them, you don’t call. You don’t want to ruin that for them. You don’t want to pull them down or bother them. Even though you’re completely hopeless and your heart is breaking and you know you can’t take another step alone.
That feeling when you’re so broken that you give up ever being fixed. When you stop reaching out for help. When you fade into nothing while no one even notices.
That feeling of wanting your heart to stop beating.
